How to Deal With Abandonment Issues: Tips to Help You Cope

how to deal with abandonment issues

Abandonment issues can be difficult to deal with. If you have experienced abandonment, you may feel like you are not worthy of love or that you will always be left behind. These feelings of abandonment can lead to anxiety and depression, making it difficult to form close relationships. However, there are ways to deal with abandonment issues and find healing. In this article, we'll take a deep dive into:

  • What are abandonment issues?

  • What are signs that you struggle with abandonment?

  • Tips to help you cope

If you're struggling with abandonment issues, know that you are not alone. Tens of Thousands of people around the world have experienced some form of abandonment, whether it be from a parent, partner, friend, or family member.

What are abandonment issues?

Abandonment issues refer to a range of emotions and behaviors that occur in response to the perceived or real threat of abandonment. These may include feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and mistrust, as well as behaviors such as clinginess and possessiveness. While abandonment issues can develop in response to any type of loss or separation, they are most commonly associated with early childhood experiences, such as being left by one or more parents or being placed in foster care. However, adults can also develop abandonment issues if they have experienced significant losses later in life, such as the passing of someone they loved or the end of a relationship. While abandonment issues can be difficult to overcome, many effective treatments, such as therapy and self-help groups, are available. People with abandonment issues can learn to manage their fears and build healthy, lasting relationships with the right support.

What are signs that you struggle with abandonment?

One of the most common signs that someone struggles with abandonment is an avoidance of being alone. This can manifest itself in a number of ways, such as always needing to be surrounded by people, feeling panic when by oneself, or being overly clingy in relationships. Another sign is avoidance of intimacy, both emotional and physical. This defensive response may be due to a fear of getting too close to someone because of the risk of being rejected or left. People who struggle with abandonment may also have difficulty trusting others and may constantly be on the lookout for signs that someone is going to leave them. They may also have a pattern of choosing partners who are unavailable or who repeatedly leave them. While these are common signs, it's important to remember that everyone experiences abandonment differently.

Tips to help you cope with abandonment

  1. Acknowledge your feelings. Identifying and allowing your feelings is a vital step to coping with abandonment. People often feel ashamed or embarrassed about their anxious reactions in relationships, but it is important to recognize and accept these feelings. By acknowledging them, you give yourself the opportunity to explore them further and work through them. This can be an important part of moving on from a past experience of abandonment.

  2. Understand your triggers. Understanding what might trigger these feelings and how to deal with them is critical. Triggers can vary from person to person, but common ones include feeling ignored or unimportant, being rejected or abandoned by someone emotionally close to you, or experiencing a traumatic event such as a breakup or divorce. When you are aware of your abandonment triggers, you can take steps to manage them. This may involve employing coping mechanisms such as journaling, talking to a friend or therapist, or practicing self-care.

  3. Build a support system. Building a support system can be incredibly helpful in overcoming abandonment issues. By having people who care about you and are there to support you, you can begin to feel more secure and confident in yourself. These people can provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on when needed and may be able to assist you in working through your feelings. Additionally, by engaging in activities that you enjoy or spending time with people who make you happy, you can help to boost your self-esteem and make yourself feel stronger and more resilient.

  4. Practice self-care. One of the most important ways to deal with the impact of abandonment issues is to practice self-care. This means taking care of oneself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like getting enough deep sleep, meditating, eating healthy foods, exercising, as well as spending time with friends, loved ones, and family.. Practicing self-care can increase one’s sense of control over one's life. Self-care can also help reduce stress and anxiety. When dealing with abandonment issues, it is important to remember that taking care of oneself is essential to the healing process.

  5. Seek professional help. Abandonment issues can be very difficult to cope with on your own. If you are struggling with feelings of abandonment and intimacy, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A licensed therapist near you can provide you with understanding, tools and support to help you cope with painful feelings and work through abandonment issues, so that you can live happier and have more fulfilling relationships. 

In Conclusion

Abandonment issues can be very difficult to cope with and can affect many areas of a person's life. However, there are steps that can help manage these feelings. By acknowledging your feelings, understanding your triggers and the ways you are contributing to painful relationship patterns, building a support system, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help, you can begin to work through your abandonment issues and start to feel better.

By following these tips, you can start to heal from your abandonment issues and build a more stable foundation for your future. Remember, healing takes time and patience, but it is possible. Seek help from a professional if you feel like you need additional support. 

About Groundwork Therapy

At Groundwork Therapy, we understand how difficult it can be to deal with abandonment issues. Our team of experienced therapists in Brooklyn, NY can provide you with the tools and support you need to work through these feelings. Contact Groundwork Therapy today to learn more about our services or to schedule an appointment. We look forward to helping you on your journey to healing and growth.

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