What Is Passive Aggression and Why Does It Happen?
Passive aggression is a type of behavior that can be difficult to understand and deal with. It is a way of expressing anger or frustration through indirect means. People who develop this type of behavior may not be able to express their feelings directly or they may feel that expressing their emotions is too risky. In turn, this leads them to express their anger in indirect ways, such as sarcasm, criticism, and avoiding responsibilities. Let's explore more about passive aggression and why it occurs.
Topics
1. Definition of Passive Aggression
2. Causes of Passive Aggression
3. Signs That Someone Is Being Passive Aggressive
4. How to Deal With Passive Aggression in Relationships
Passive-Aggression
Def: Passive aggression is a type of behavior in which people express their anger and frustration indirectly instead of openly addressing it. It can include actions such as subtle insults, sarcasm, procrastination, or avoiding certain tasks that the passive-aggressive person finds unpleasant. People who exhibit this behavior may be afraid of confrontation or conflict, so they will instead express their feelings through passive-aggressive behaviors.
Causes of Passive Aggression
There are many possible causes of passive aggression, such as fear of conflict, difficulty expressing emotions, low self-esteem and a lack of assertiveness. People who tend to be more introverted may also struggle with expressing their needs or wants directly. Stressful circumstances, such as a challenging job or a strained relationship, may also trigger passive-aggressive behavior.
Common causes of passive aggression include:
Fear of conflict:
People may be afraid of how the other person will react if they express themselves openly.
Difficulty expressing emotions: Some people may find it difficult to express anger or frustration, so they resort to passive aggression as a way of venting their feelings.
Low self-esteem:
Those who have low self-esteem often struggle with expressing their needs and wants, so they resort to passive aggression as a way of getting what they want.
Stressful circumstances:
Challenging situations, such as a difficult job or a strained relationship, may trigger passive-aggressive behavior from someone who is already at risk for this type of behavior.
Signs That Someone Is Being Passive Aggressive
Passively aggressive behavior can be difficult to recognize, as it often masks criticism or annoyance in the form of passive comments. Signs of passive aggression may include items being moved without explanation, people acting uncooperative or not speaking up when asked a direct question, and attempts at sarcasm. It’s important to understand that routinely observing these behaviors does not indicate someone is exhibiting passive-aggressive tendencies, but if two or more are occurring on an ongoing basis, then it’s likely suggesting some underlying issues.
To help you identify these signs more easily, here are a few common examples of passively aggressive behavior: withholding affection in order to get your way; manipulating conversations by asking questions that make it look like you're interested while expecting a negative response; and trying to belittle another person with backhanded compliments.
How to Deal With Passive Aggression in Relationships
Passive aggressiveness in relationships is a common issue and can impact how we interact with our partners. This type of behavior often comes from feelings of insecurity or powerlessness, which lead to subtle but damaging reactions. It’s important to remember that the person behaving passive aggressively is not automatically a bad person, they are just responding to their environment in the only way they know how. The best way to combat passive aggression is through healthy communication. Here are a few tips to follow:
1. Talk it out: It’s important to openly discuss the issue with your partner and try to come up with solutions that work for both of you.
2. Avoid criticism: Passive aggression is often triggered by criticism, so focus on expressing yourself without attacking the other person.
3. Show understanding: Offer your partner empathy and understanding. This will help them feel more valued and may lead to less passive-aggressive behavior in the future.
4. Take a break: If the conversation becomes too heated, take a moment to calm down before continuing.
Final Thoughts
Passive aggression can be a difficult concept to wrap our heads around because it still involves negative behavior, yet is expressed through different means than overt aggression. In many cases, passive-aggressive behavior happens as a result of underlying feelings of anger and resentment which have been suppressed and are expressed in subtle ways. It’s important to remember that it’s not always easy to identify passive-aggressive behavior, as it can be easily masked by politeness. The best way to deal with this type of behavior is through open and honest communication, as well as exercising patience and understanding.
About Groundwork Therapy
Searching for a therapist near me? Groundwork Therapy is a Brooklyn, NY team of licensed therapists and clinical psychologists that provide therapy for adults, couples, and teenagers. Our experienced clinicians can help with a variety of issues from anxiety to depression, and more. Contact us today to learn more about our services.